Published on December 5, 2015



I have had countless conversations this year with clients who are in tears in my office despairing that they are letting themselves down by thinking too much about their fears.

As they wipe their eyes with a tissue they explain that they have been studying some of the law of attraction principles and …” you know … thoughts become things” .. and … “what you focus on expands”.
They are in a state of distress and their fears are increased exponentially as they worry that they are attracting some ill fated experience into their life just by worrying about it.

If you are a parent you are going to naturally worry about future events with your children. It is part of parenthood. If you are someone who suffers from anxiety and are plagued with intrusive thoughts about some irrational event in the future – then these are just that -irrational fears and your anxiety expressing itself.

To think about events or things that you don’t want to occur AKA worrying is part of life. And it happens to all of us at some time. To then also add to this a fear that the very act of worrying about ‘it’ will attract ‘it’ into your life – well this is just completely overwhelming and sadly can reduce your ability to get relief from your fears and anxiety.

As a spirituality coach and qualified therapist with 22 years of experience I feel some responsibility to begin a more thoughtful conversation about this misunderstanding and take some steps to give you relief and clear it up once and for all.

So how has this misunderstanding occurred? It is tricky sometimes to explain a complex concept in a simple way. And as humans we love to keep it simple. So I think we have taken the concept of ‘thoughts become things’ and ‘what you focus on expands’ and applied it to everything.

The laws of the universe do not work in this way. To help explain how it works I have consulted with my spiritual team and they wish for you to know and understand the following so that you can understand you can worry freely!


  • The only thoughts that become things are those that help you to experience a better life and better version of yourself. This is because whether you are aware or not the universe is conspiring in your favour at all times.
  • Energy either moves forward or stays still in one spot. When we are thinking positive, light, happy and delightful thoughts about ourselves and our lives then we are moving forward. When we are feeling troubled, scared, worried or overwhelmed we become motionless, stuck and stagnant in the one place. There is no backwards and there is no attracting negative experiences or events to us. This is not possible. Think about it. When you feel sad, in fear or in a state of worry – if you really tune into how you feel at that time – you will feel that you are in a place where there is no movement forward. You become motion-less. Your anxiety may have you spinning around in the one spot but that is neither forward not backwards. As energy there is only moving forward or being still.
  • Life does include suffering. We experience suffering not because we have done anything to draw that experience into our lives. We experience suffering for two separate reasons.
  • Firstly we can suffer deeply as we relive old patterns that we have learnt in our childhood. For example as an adult we may find ourselves in an abusive relationship or in a state of addiction. These experiences are an invitation to recognize the old patterns and change toward a better version of you. They do not occur because you have attracted those experiences into your life.
  • Secondly people we love will die, our loved ones can become ill and so can we. Seemingly bad things do happen to good people and we all ask why are we suffering. I have explored the question of why do we suffer before and my spiritual team shared with me that your soul is here to know what it feels like to express itself across all circumstances. During both happy times and occasions when life is beyond tolerable. One of the reasons we are all here is to create an opportunity for your soul to know the full expression of itself in every given moment. This includes all of life’s experiences; even the difficult ones. Once we understand this then we can see that the reasons why we do experience suffering is a little bigger than we thought about it so it came into our life.
  • The only negativity that worry, fear and anxiety brings into your life is that it takes away your happiness in the moment. That is all and really that is enough. Right?


Believing that all your thoughts become things will impact on your quality of life. It will absolutely double your feelings of fear, anxiety and worry. You will after all be worrying about the future event, and then be worrying about the fact that you are worrying and attracting the feared future event into your life. Life is not meant to be lived in this way. I know it and now I hope you understand it more too.